A Tale of a Hat

A Christmas Story
by Sweepy

Once upon a Time
in a land far, far away
is a small old house
that is named Heaven.

Heaven is a cool place
where trees dance and sing
where birds fly in and out
where all lizards share one name
where frogs leap, not for joy,
but to escape the heavy paws
of a big, black clumsy dog
whose gesture of affection
may mean your ultimate demise . . .

And it was told
that in that quiet place
a magical story took place
where a red Santa hat
with glittering star lights . . .
went around in search
of a special someone
to bestow its magical charm.

The whole of Heaven went wild.
The whole of Heaven must wear The Hat!
The frogs, the lizards, the spiders . . .
the crickets, the stray cats, the leech . . .

. . . all tried to get The Hat
but it is beyond their reach!

As the wise Moon howls:
"You do not seek TheHat. It seeks you"

Ahhhh, what baloney!
But hey, who says magic is within your grasp?
And so the story goes . . .

The Hat must find the Right One.
The Hat will only fit in the head
of the one who is fit to hold the magic
and the secret to the divine drools . . .
er, make that divine power . . .
that will save drooly mankind . . .

So the mad scrambling went on.
The black hounds tried . . .
nope, the big black brother simply does not make it.

The grumpy Alpha-Papa dawg tried . . .
and failed!

Weepy, the pillow tried . . .
naaah, failed!

The trees and the hoomans begged off.
TheHat flirtingly tried to call them . . .
but the trees and the humans in Heaven
have no need for a hat
since the human beans, er beings, have lots of hats
and the trees do not need hats
and both of them are content
with the power they already have!
Now, if you need to know what power they have
it is the power to make or break this story!

Keeper, I need a HighSpeedPawControlledLaptop!

Now, will somebody twit that
before I end up finishing this story by 2010!
Now to go back to my story . . .

Now, this is the great Pretender
er, the great Preacher . . .
It is He who goes around Heaven
forever in a Shout-Out mode
like a silly spin doctor
out on some political gimmick
always trying to find The Solution
to almost any imaginable concerns . . .

The Preacher says:
TheHat is for the chosen one!
And I know WHO that is!

And the Cowboy
who is not really a cow boy
since he does not have a cow
and he does not know what a cow is
immediately declared for everyone to hear:
It is Meeeh!
I am the chosen one!

TheHat is too big for you, Moron!
The Preacher rolled his eyes and tails.
If you look closely, de Preacher is actually a bee.
A bumblebee selling burgers
to unsuspecting dogs and hoomans!
The Preacher's tail is actually a bulb
which is solar-powered and green friendly
so he's kindda popular after Copenhagen.
But enough of the Preacher . . .

Well, if it's too big for me . . . cried the Cowboy
then it must be purr-fect for all of us!!!
We are the chosen ones!!!
We rule Heaven!

TheHat is only good for One.
The Preacher was exasperated.
Oh, can't you see?
Everybody tried The Hat
except our SuperDog!
But he's sleeping!
He's always sleeping!
He does not care for hats!
He has all sorts of hats!
I swear I saw him wear one exactly like it!

The Preacher rolled his eyes again
and his bulb lit brightly in exasperation.

The SuperDog is The One!
Oh, can't you see?
He is the best candidate.
He came from the best pedigree: Dougherty!

Wow, what's that?

The Preacher was aghast!
That is the best breed in town!
What's the matter with you!

The Preacher continued his campaign spin:
The SuperDog's pawrents are honest
and they are heroes in Heaven!
His is a rags to riches story.
He tore the rags and became rich!
He is the real action dog
and he barks at everybody
including us, forBarkingOutLoud!
Oh forget his so-so big brother
but hey, who always include us in his story?

And so it goes that a consensus was made
to convince the sleeping SuperDog
to wear The Hat!

Everybody pooled their energies
and they were finally able to stir the snoring SuperDog
and make him wear The Hat!

The SuperDog became alert
and felt the magic and the power
that comes with The Hat!
It was the power of Christmas.
The power to Heal
and the power to Love!
It was a powerful gift
and the SuperDog shared this power
with all of Heaven's beings.
And they all lived happily ever after!

A SuperDog wise advise:
Sometimes, power can be your downfall.
For others it can mean losing their hands . . .

Lesson for the Day:
Don't disturb a sleeping dog
because a sleeping dog
is more dangerous
than a dead toenail.

Now, as I said in my Howliday cards sent to all my furry friends, the first one who can guess who the SuperDog is, will get a drooly red hat . . . noooo! forget that! If you guess right, you'll get a drooly gift delivered to your drooly doorstep by a drooly SuperDog!

PeeEss: I will acknowledge all the hot and cool cards we received in my next post. Happy, hippy Christmas eveybody! And may the power to heal and love be in your paws, mind and heart all the days of your drooly life!

1 comment:

  1. I know you are the SuperDog, Sweepy!
    Your story is pawesome!
    Merry Christmas to you and your family!
    I hope all your wishes come true!
    Kisses and hugs


Go Ahead And Bark Away!