Dark Tales in Heaven . . .

a.k.a

I Live With A Vampire


Yes.
Forget New Moon.
Forget Old Moon.
Forget any white-faced gorgeous dude.
Think instead of white hairs
sprouting on an old black beast.
Yikes, ageing vampires ain't vampy, is what!


Forget twilight.
Forget no light, too.
Because here in a house called Heaven
are dark creatures
that walk
and pants
like restless beasts
out
for
some
blood!
Yikes!!!!


The dark creature eyes you
and you get hypnotized . . .
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!



Another dark creature watches . . .
. . . but this one makes you giggle.
Oh, for-barking-out-freakin-loud, Bogart
will you fix that dumb expression!!!
You're ruining my tale!


Anydawg,
the dark creature prowls . . .
on the night of the full moon . . .


. . . and even on sunny days
during the full moon week.
Yes, vampires nowadays are not afraid of light.
. . . the bumpfire goes panting,
heaving like some heavy barracuda . . .

. . . and if you don't watch it
you'll get hit by some toxic fumes
when you stand too close to the beast
just when he just had his meal.
SO WATCH IT! STAND BACK!



The beast has sharp claws . . .
. . . the better to paw you out! Watch it!
Methinks, the beast badly needs paw-dicure.



The beast has sharp fangs . . .
. . . the better to snap you to pieces!!!
Watch those tartars too since the beast
has not been to the dentist in ages!!!!
Whoa, watch-it, Watch-It-Out!


And while you're at it . . .
watch that pink tongue wagging at you!
Doesn't that look bloody red???
Has the beast eaten somebody???
Keeper? Where are you Keeper?!? Waaah!!!


The beast has sharp ears . . .
. . . the better to hear you out!!!
You have to learn to keep still
and learn to whisper some
because the beast has no ipod
and does not listen to music
so he can hear any grunts you make!
Watch-Watch-Watch-That-Clumsy-Step!!!


And watch it mostly
when the beast is asleep . . .

watch those eyes . . .
for in a blink of a second . . .

Yikes!
So you think he is sleeping?
NOOOOO! He's waiting to snap at you!!!


And this is the scariest of all . . .
I once saw the beast
trying to disguise himself as . . .
ME?!?


Watch it!
That's not me, folks!
I'm not dark and dumb-looking!
. . . you have to look close to see . . .
but by then, it might be too late!!!
Watch that Nose capable of sniffing you to Death!!


And the worst part of it all . . .
somebody, somebody . . .

. . . seems to enjoy living with these black beasts!!!
Don't ask me.
I just live here myself.


Now I think I'm ready for my bloodymarys . . .