March My Mwah

Meet my new toys:

TheOtherKeeper got these freebies
from eating at fastfood joints without us.
You see, we are BANNED from eating out with hoomans
because I usually eat the mascots
and peed on all possible corners
aside from ordering everything on the menu.
'nuffsed.


TheOtherKeeper gave these toys to Keeper
since Keeper still has the penchant to play.
Yeah, I mean that old lady kept playing with MY toys!
And Keeper loves to play with us.
We have noisy barkfest during our playtime
when Keeper would always call it quits
when I play rough and bully the black hounds.

ForBarkingOutFrillyLoud,
who said games must be tame!
I play for fun and danger.
If I can't win 'em
I try to get even . . .


Now look at these action figures.

I can make them fly at high speed
when they join me for a rough run
around our house Heaven
not in their drooly scooters . . .
. . . but stuck in between my sharp fangs!
HolyMacaroniThrill, is what!


And now this . . .
is my big black brother Bogart's preferred toy.
Sissy action watch that carries a drooly comb
and laugh-out-burpy-LOUD drooly MIRROR!
Ha! What dumbo!

I mean Bogart can hardly comb his fur with it
and looking at his black reflection in the mirror
only makes him drooly bark in anger!
Truly dumb, believe my drool!


But you see
that drooly watch
is the object . . .
the target . . .
the Vision-Mission hooha
of my two action figures!
What drooly fate!

. . . and our mission is to run around Bogart . . .


. . . and as captured by our cheap CCTV:

. . . ride his drooly back . . .


. . . and snatch the drooly watch
when the black hound goes ZZzzzzzzzzz.


Aha, GOT IT!
. . . and I wore it like a sissy freak!
And when I finally opened the drooly hooha . . .

Arf! Arf!
Hey, there's a drooly hooha looking
and barking back at me!!!
Keeper!!!!


And just then
the CCTV conked out.
. . . and my toys got the watch
. . . where they went to watch their drooly faces!
Hey, whats with you guys?!?!
Are you part of the QueerEyeGuys?


Anydawg,
it was so awfully blasting HOT
that Keeper's resolve to give us a bath
every ten days to save water
and probably spare her lazy self as well
has gone to zilch.


We need a bath every other day, Keeper!

. . . and so we must
take a bath every three days or so . . .
until our furs and nose goes dry
as the cracking earth around Heaven.


And since Bogart and I
are always in sync . . .

I mean we both won
in the Pawlimpics Synchronized hooha . . .


. . . we are still in sync . . .
. . . just in case you need to know.


And this you got to know . . .
Keeper celebrated her birthday quietly.
It was so quiet I hardly noticed it.
The hoomans left and ate out.
Later, only TheOtherKeeper went home. Alone.
Apparently, Keeper went to watch Meryl Streep
in a complicated movie
that sounds like my shout-out status.

It's a good thing,
TheOtherKeeper brought home cakes and goodies
and fed all of us until Keeper arrived.
Not a word.
Not a whine.
Just a silly smile.

Are you ever going to treat us out, Keeper?
I mean you are now six-hundred-sixty-two years
and blasting on to the next millenium
and still doing that silly raindance!?!


Oh, I will, Sweepy-pie!
On your drooly b-day on the 18th for sure.