21.7.10

Verdict: Guilty!

Yupsy.
That's me: Guilty.
Guilty is my new title.

This innocent face
this angelic dawg
this sweet old thing
was found GUILTY.
Guilty of Murder.

But you know
I have an accomplice.
My old man, er,
my old Pupsy
the big, black, mean thing
that old black wild thing
that one below me . . .
. . . was my partner.
You see, we belong to the pack of hounds.
The hounds that protect
a house named Heaven.

Anything that moves.
Anything that look suspicious.
Anything that does not smell
anything like Heaven
is a Trespasser.
And trespassing is a fate worse than death.

So, a few weeks back,
a kitty cat tried to enter Heaven.
Nope, not that Cat posing as tiger in my last post.
This time it was one of those noisy cats
that roam RainbowAve searching for madness.

We barked threateningly
but the cat was stubborn
and as soon as that kitty paw was inside Heaven
the kitty cat was DEAD.
As soon as TheOtherKeeperLuchie arrived
I tried to present the dead intruder at her feet
but she left crying in disgust.
KeeperLui saw it earlier and left crying in disgust.
I don't understand!
I felt like a warrior
but my audience all left in disgust!

Then, on the day that some of my hooman gurlfriends
were coming to visit this handsome SuperDog
a huge rat fell trying to cross from the neighbor
to our heavily-guarded house Heaven
and in seconds, the clumsy fat rat
is a fat DEAD RAT.
Ha!

Keeper told TheOtherKeeper
that Popsy Sumo and I killed the rat.
But, what's your evidence, Keeper?

This:
Keeper asked Popsy Sumo
who killed the cat and the rat
and Popsy looked like this:

Keeper said GUILTY was etched in our faces!
By virtue of Popsy Sumo's look
we were found GUILTY!

So our sentence:
Suspended for Violence.
No playing and anything EXCITING for a week!
Grounded and Suspended
Case closed.

But then, Storm Basyang arrived that week!
Keeper, I suggest you suspend Basyang as well!
How dare Basyang come in unannounced!
And how can a storm be not exciting?!!

So Basyang came
and we all got suspended in Heaven!
We did not have electric power for 21 hours!
With no electricity, the water pump died too.
The phone was dead too.
The cellphones were all on lowbat (low battery)
and the hoomans went crazy
not knowing which stuff to secure:
the roof, the plants, the sculpture,
or the two whining dogs,
the food on the ref, the swaying trees,
or the two whining dogs,
the candles, the flashlights,
the two whining dogs . . .

Keeper hauled us off to our house
bundled us with pillows and blankets
and covered our house with tarps
to avoid the rain and howling winds.
It was worst than the dead cat and rat.
It rained "cats and dogs" in Heaven!
Rat!

And so, Storm Basyang came and left.
Storm Basyang was NOT supposed to pass Heaven.
The weatherman, or the "whether-man"
told us that the storm will pass north.
We live in the south but you see
Storm Basyang decided to go south instead.
Maybe, like most of those trespassers,
who always try to enter our property
Basyang is a fool but she can not be suspended.
Woof!

Anydawg, my gurlfriends are not trespassers.
They announced their visit but I'm busy.
I mean I was suspended and Keeper said nothing exciting.
So I can't exactly have anything to do with anything
that scream EXCITEMENT
which best describes my gurlfriends:
. . . and I'm sure you'll agree.
Keeper met with them for lunch buffet earlier
and it was my hooman gurlfriends who sent Cat and Moo
those two pathetic tiger and cow wannabes
who continue to make my life miserable!

When my hooman gurlfriends decided to visit that Sunday
they saw the dead rat on our doorstep
and they almost went running in total fear
but then they saw cutey me
and they went running to cuddle cutey me
and so I went running to my cutey house!
Help, Keeper! The girls are after me!
I can't help it if they find me cute!
Awww shucks!

And now
I heard the dog mommies
are meeting again this Sunday
with our pup friends
and I am NOT included.
I think I am suspended FOR LIFE!
ForBarkingOUTFREAKINGLOUD!

Sweepy, I told you NO KILLINGS.
You just scare off intruders.

Besides, stray cats and rats carry germs

and you can die from them!


And with KeeperLui's teary words
comes this scary prescription:

"Prophylaxis for Sweepy, doxycycline 100mg tab 14. Give 1 tab 2x a day for 7days. DrGeoff"

And so for a week I was dying of leptospirosis.
Whatever it is, however it is spelled,
it means only one thing: DEATH!
You kill a rat and the rat kills you back.
Now don't say I did not warn you!

But I did not die.
I did not have leptoswhatever.
And nope, I did not have
whatever "poetic justice in the animal world" stuff
that Keeper's artist friends were saying.
Instead, I got suspended for murder
but I ain't dying.
Not yet anyway.
Look:

This SuperDog is ok.
Thanks DrGeoff of GreenwoodsClinic!
Thanks to my other hooman gurlfriend Happy!
Thanks also to my gurlfriends Jillian, Kate, Stef!
(Note: I have 7 hooman GFs and 1 dog-of-my-life)
Pawsome Thanks too Jojo for his awesome GIFT!

Thanks to TheOtherKeeperLuchie
who buried and disposed of, well, dead intruders.
. . . and kept Heaven in tip-top condition
after stormBasyang and all . . .

And thanks to Keeper
for keeping us safe from the storm
and hugging two dangerous murderers
even when her heart was breaking.

Lesson for this Month:
Think before you kill anybeing.
If you can, just maim any intruders.
They will die anyway once they hear Keeper's nagging.

Stay safe. Be happy.
Although I know that sounds conflicting
(can you really be safe and happy?)
but for your own good and your keepers
I hope your barking world
is safe and happy. . .

3 comments:

  1. It's ok to kill rats but not cats!!! You won't get in trouble for killing rats. Just remember that. No cats!

    Pedro

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww Sweepy, I wasnt even there to defend you! I would have recommended that you plead guilty to the lesser offense ( killing of the rat) but deny, absolutely deny that you killed the cat!

    - The Secretary

    P.S But all in all,Im glad that you did not get infected with Lepto. take care bf!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sweepy!
    A killer?? My sweet friend... a killer??...
    A cat killer??
    Oh-oh!
    Glad you are ok!
    Take care
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

    ReplyDelete

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